My only reason for believing in a God

Christianity is a topic that most men may struggle with while growing up. Over the last 14 years, I've tried this religion. And I've failed miserably at it. I will admit, it was very easy to believe in God, Jesus, and the Bible as a little kid. Believe in God or else you will go to Hell. Easy.

God was real and I knew it... because my parents told me so. And my parents knew everything. At least they knew so much more than I did at the time. As a little kid, I had the perception that every believed in God. And if everyone believes in it, than it must be true. As a little kid, I never heard of or met any atheists or had any ill will towards the Lord.

But as I grew older, things started to break down. As it turned out, the world has a lot of atheists and people that absolutely hate the idea of a God. Slowly, I absorbed several arguments against the validity of Christianity. Genesis sounds like just a fairy tale, Revelations is just insane, it would have been impossible for a flood to cover the whole Earth, the Earth is more than 2000 years old, there are severe inconsistencies about Jesus's life and the list goes on.

This combined with other events I've experienced caused me to do several sinful things. I tore up my Bibles, I rejected the Lord, I abandoned my church, I prayed to Satan just to spite God, I prayed to God just to curse at him, and I went as far as rejecting his existence all together. After doing all these things, nothing changed. Everything was the same.

It some time to get past the hatred of the Lord. I needed to save up a lot of money to to get past it.

After calming down a bit, I gathered my thoughts together. I couldn't trust the Bible. It isn't all false and it isn't all true. Did Jesus exist? Was Jesus God? Did he come back from the dead? I don't know. I don't intend on finding out. With any text that was passed down over multiple generations and translated hundreds of times, who can really know what is true?

But does God exist? I don't know for sure but I think it is more likely that God does exist. When I say God, I am not necessary referring to the God that is portrayed in the Bible. The Bible does a lot to personify God. The God of the Bible has emotions, talks to people, and manipulates the world.

The God that I am thinking about is much different than that. Growing up, I've noticed that nothing ever gets where it is without outside involvement. In other words, everything was created by something else. Houses are constructed by contractors, mountains happen when tectonic plates collide, and stars form when hot gasses undergo fusion. Everything is created by something else.

Well almost everything. The first thing that ever existed could not have been created by something else. This would imply that there has to be something that always was. What ever that thing is, I believe that thing is God. It might by possible that our entire plane of existence is God.

I could be wrong though so don't take my word for it. After all, I'm no priest. I'm just an accountant.