The "Starter Marriage" Strategy

This happened a few years back when I was talking to an old friend. At the time, she was in her mid twenties. Towards the age of thirty was probably when she would want to find a husband and get married. It was then she told me her strategy of having a starter marriage.

She said she would find a man to marry but intentionally not have children with him in the very likely situation of having a divorce. The rationale was that she would use her first marriage to test the waters and see all the challenges of being married. And then experience all the mistakes that would lead to a divorce. By the time of her second marriage, she would have experienced what works and what doesn't work in a marriage and then she would feel safe enough of have children with her second husband. It this way, it was her second marriage that would be the successful marriage.

I don't think it was her intention to divorce rape the first husband for resources however I can't rule out that option. She wanted to have a husband and children to take care of her and provide for her.

Writing about this anecdote makes me sad on two levels. The first being was that my old friend had been through some rough patches getting out of a long term relationship and she had other personal problems she had dealt with growing up. I remember when I brought this up with her, she started shaking out of nervousness.

The second level is that this is probably what is common in today's dating market. Men and women today are just so broken that pair bonding is harder and harder to achieve.

With all that being said, try to never get involved with a woman that thinks starter marriages are a good idea.