Nothing worth fighting for. Nothing worth living for. Nothing worth dying for.

I've heard reports from prominent bloggers about achieving really big goals at a relatively young age. One of the biggest problems about achieving these goals is what to do next? I've heard a lot of people get depressed because they have no sense of agency anymore. I'm a year away from reaching my goal of saving a certain amount of money. Yet for some reason, I'm feeling a sense of depression before even reaching this goal.

For the longest time, I was thinking that I want to achieve this goal and I want it now. The 390 days left until May 1st 2016 just feels agonizing. I count each day that goes by. But when I finally get there, I won't even be 30 yet. I want to have the freedom to spend 16 hours a day doing whatever I like. But maybe, I'll get sick of having all that freedom and want to go back to the corporate grind.

I've never asked this question to anyone before. I kind of wonder if some men get married and have children just for the sake of having something to do or work for. Do they need some sense of agency? Personally, I could never get married for the sake that I am very adverse to risk. And getting married today might be like trying to clear a minefield according to Davis Aurini.

The other reason I'm opposed to getting married is that I perceive the probability of getting into a happy life long marriage is about 1% or less. According to Aaron Clarey, he dated about 300 women over the course of 22 years. Out of all those women, he made the claim that only 3 were marriage material. Only 1% of women would lead to a happy marriage.

I'm really glad he did the field research. I don't have the time or patience to go through that nonsense. I'll take his word for it.

Maybe I should just try to accumulate a larger amount of money. But there is only one amount of money that I want. I want the amount of money that will last me the rest of my lifetime. After taking care of all my financial concerns, all I could really think of doing is skateboarding.

But even then, the only goal I could think of doing is trying to become professional. And I really don't have the ambition to want to do that. Maybe I could shoot for trying to get a shop sponsor or try to win some sort of contest.

I've heard that men need to have a sense of agency or else they will fall into depression. There must be something to it. Or maybe I'm just bummed out because Sunday night is more depressing than Monday morning.

Speaking of which....