The next day, I called her to see if she was alright. She was happy to hear from me and she said she was still a little sore from the previous day. The day afterwards is when the problems started. While sitting at work, I got the fear that I might have gotten Julia pregnant. It was somewhat irrational. After all, I made sure to use a condom and the protection did not slip off or break. I kept on getting the fear that some fluid might have slipped out. I got scared that she would bear a child. I had $30000 saved up so I wouldn’t be under the most pressure however my job would be ending in a few months. Nervously, I tried to do the math in my head and figure out if I could afford having a child. It was a very vulnerable situation. To help alleviate that fear, I reached out to Julia to make sure everything was okay. I didn’t bring up the issue but I just wanted to check for anything out of the ordinary. Towards the end of July, we met at a restaurant that was close to our work. Truth be told, I was just waiting to find out if she had her period or not. If she had, then I’d be in the clear. I never really found out when she had it, but I felt so relieved just seeing her again. At the end of dinner, I walked her to her car and, unexpectedly, she kissed me.
During August, our contract was starting to wind down. Most of my colleagues were starting to look for another job once the current one ended. I would have been actively searching however I did like the idea of taking a few months off after October. Our superiors told us that we would be able to qualify for unemployment once the project was over so I wasn’t to pressured to find work right away. I kept on wanting to do fun things with Julia while I didn’t have to worry about money. One thing I really wanted to do with her was take her to a skating rink and skate to pop music. I hadn’t done that since I was in middle school. I called Julia up and asked her to skate with me and she reluctantly agreed. There was a little bit of disappointment in her voice, I wasn’t sure why though. A minute later, she sent me a text saying that she didn’t want to go skating because she couldn’t stop thinking about having sex with me. Well okay, I couldn’t say no to that.
During the middle of August, she stopped by my house again. Immediately, we went up to my bedroom to have sex. Afterwards, she got a little moody. Something seemed a little off but I wasn’t sure what it was. When she was cooling down, she had her back facing me and I remember she had her face down in the pillows for quite some time. During the evening, we got dressed and ate at a nearby restaurant. When we got back home, we lounged around for a little bit until she had to go back home. As I walked her back to her car, I paused to kiss her goodnight but she just closed the door like she wanted to get out and get home quickly. I knew something was wrong at this point.
As the months went by, things really didn’t get any better. I don’t know what happened but it seemed like she lost interest in me or just didn’t really want me around anymore. During September, she moved into a new apartment and I visited her a few times until December. With her feeling so distant, I couldn’t help but to come to the conclusion that there was someone else involved. During the end of 2012, I was becoming too emotionally dependent on Julia. I was afraid of losing her. Unfortunately, I couldn’t see the situation ending well and the last thing I wanted to do was to be played for a fool. In December, I just stopped calling her. I figured that if she wanted to talk to me, she’d contact me.
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